Category: Teen Topics
In light of recent discussions, I thought it wise to bring this up on this board. There seems to be confusion or a lack of understanding about what is or isn't acceptable interactions between teenage and older Zone members.
There is a distinct difference between an older person giving you some normal conversation on here, attention, if you will, and somebody actually hitting on you.
Things like requests for phone sex, hints at flirting, asking about personal private details about you, is patently unsafe. It's not just 'bad,' or 'illegal,' not just 'wrong,' it's clearly and uniquivocably unsafe. Like going and playing in traffic, or having a play with Drain-O crystals and water.
It's up to us on the older end to tow that line, because we've already been through the tumultuous teenage years, already dealt with the confusion that is probably compounded now with online access. The reason kids cannot consent is because they don't have the mental equipment yet to be able to consent, and so adults must manage these situations ourselves. Remember there's a whole host of things kids under age can't consent to, not just sexual interactions. You can't sign contracts, you can't rent an apartment, work in a lot of places, there's actually quite a long list of things that you cannot engage in as adult activities before you are of age. And it's always the adult's responsibility to see that it is enforced. Any adult you interact with online knows this, whether or not they act upon it.
Even if the older person is nice to you at times, if they start asking you personal questions like that, or start propositioning you for some sort of private conference for sexual activities, you would do well to never associate with that person anymore, and to use the ignore feature. I realize that some who are still in high school are complaining and making fun of people because they use the ignore feature. But would you decide not to put on a parachute before jumping out of an airplane, just because a 20-something high-schooler says you should jump out without one?It's not 'immature', or whatever they call it, for you to seek help with this kind of a unsafe situation, from another older member on here or to use the tools like Ignore. Any actual adult member would understand and help you, or refer you to someone that can. In fact, it's brave of you to speak up.
I'm not talking about content posted to boards and things: I'm a parent and personally more on the lenient end of things when it comes to kids just reading about things. I know I've taken a lot of static for that over the years, and am man enough to take it. But what I'm talking about is overt, or obvious, sexual propositions. By proposition, that just means older person wants to talk about sex with you, have a conference or whatever where they direct you in some sort of sexual play, or even asking about your undergarments or size of breasts or other private parts. You'll find there are a lot of older members on here you can end up chatting with about any number of things, and they will never ask you any sort of questions like that.
Clearly by reading some topics that have been posted to lately, there is confusion on this issue with younger people. If you do have questions about something like this, it's not stupid or embarrassing to ask.
Anyway I'm by far not the only voice on this topic, so hoping this can generate the sort of discussion that can help the youngest members participate in a more safe and enjoyable manner.
Great post, Leo, with excelent points as always.
Speaking for myself, it's a very very good thing the internet wasn't available when I was a teen because I would have doubtless ended up in some really bad situations.
Kiddos, it's a big bad world out here and not everybody is deserving of your trust or attention. Sorry if that sounds patronizing. I can feel your little eyes rolling from here because I would have been rolling mine as a teen reading this. I thinnk that's one thing that makes it hard to give advice as a 30'something because believe it or not, I do remember what it was like to be young and I know how I would have responded.
Still though, I have to say it.
Like Leo said, there are several of us on here who are trust worthy and happy to give you guidance if you feel like you're in a situation that's uncertain.
I rarely read profiles to learn ages, probably because I'm a boring old married mom so just don't even think that way.
Anyway, I'm not really sure where to take this from here other than to say, if you ever feel like talking things over with someody who's been there and done pretty much all of that, I'm here.
Wow Sir Leo, I'm very glad this topic came about. Online, and out on the world, it's escential to place bounderies when holding a conversation. Because this happens in other sights too, and it's sad to see how not only do some teens go for such propositions, but that others end up knowing about it. Unfortunately, there's only a certain control parents can or have over teens, because they can view so much on the small devices and on their monitors. You'd think that most adults would think like you, but that's not the case. And since we're all exposed to this conduct online, and teens are so vulnerable, I think that it seems so normal for some. And this also happens amongst adults. People even make up stories of untruthful occurrences. Skype sex, phone sex, people wanting to meet up to have sex, bad phone conferences, good sexual interactions between two people who don't have anything to do with each other, so so much that's out there. And Kids read this too on bord posts, anonymous gossop bords and in other places, Leo. . when something didn't go well, some adults end up ruining the reputation of the others online, because, it's online. But the truth is, that anything having to do with personal interractions, even if it's a joke, affects the reputation of individuals, because the containt remains, especially on this sight. So, I think that setting bounderies, in order to not cross the line is extremely impertant.
Great post, Leo. It's also worth mentioning that younger members who encourage older members to violate the laws of consent--and they're out there--need to be avoided. It's up to adult members to discourage such behaviour, or stay away from such people altogether. Just because that fourteen-year-old says it's ok doesn't take blame away from the adult party.
The thing is too, you can be anyone you want and any age you want online, so you have no idea who you are really speaking to online. Be very careful.
The faxt that older people feel they can still get away with such activity saddens me. I'm glad this has been brought to light. I have had to use the ignore feature on a couple old creepers in my teens on this site. I, unfortunately, put myself in a not so bright situation as a teenager. Believe me, it was far more than I could handle. I agree that teens who solicit this behavior are lost in their own naivete and should not be indulged.
Well you shouldn't blame yourself for so-called putting yourself or them in that position, when you were a teen. Clearly, since teenagers cannot yet consent, it is the adult's responsibility only, and this is how any court of law would see it.
Should teenagers play it safe? Absolutely, hence I posted this topic. However if you are accosted by an older person, it's that person's responsibility, and I still advise that any teen in that situation contact an older adult on here.
It's pretty sad that you were in a situation where you felt uncomfortable on this site, as a teenager, because of the actions of an older member.
My situation in question actually happened before the zone, hence probably why I didn't let myself be dragged into such similar situations when I came to be here. I'm glad the situation has passed, but am still the wiser for it. I just hope that other teens can learn that those situations are detrimental to them, trust me, that shit can really fuck you up, just be smart about things.
A good topic. I don't have much to add except sometimes the teen will approach serten adults. Sure it is the adults responsibility to say no, but some won't.
No way to make it go away, but if teens understand they are playing to far over their heads that might help as well.
It's also important to remember if you're a teen you basically don't really know what you want yet, and don't have the same experience emotionally, sexually and otherwise that an adult has. It is clearly the adult's legal responsibility to keep a situation like that from happening, one good reason to use sites where you can authenticate someone's age, for instance, if online dating is your thing.
But even if a teenager lies about their age and the works, courts in many countries will unequivocably hold the adult responsible, since teenagers don't have the ability to consent. You can't even stay at a hotel with your teeny friends by yourselves before you're 18. You can't sign a contract, can't even buy a car or get a credit card, before you are of legal age. This may sound rough if you're 17 and basically feel like you know what you want.
But when my daughter was 17 and was talking about a tattoo, and I told her the piercing places out here won't do it till she's 18? Waiting until you are 18, shows the kind of maturity you want the rest of us to believe that you have.
But nothing I say on here at all diminishes the fact that the adult in the situation holds the full legal responsibility for what happens. And on an international site like this? It's not just the host country of the site but the country in which the adult resides. And it's the older of the two ages of consent, not the younger, as was evidently thought on some other boards on here.
Leo, I'd like to say here that when you move a conversation from the internet to the telephone you have crossed the line.
Also, when you will pay for that teen to travel, or make ararrangements to meet them, as often happens, you have crossed the line.
Even though in some countries, and even here in the states the age limit changes, you are the adult, and should conduct such relationships as such.
Absolutely right, and thank you sir.
Well speaking as a teen, though I am hitting 18 pretty soon. I can totally see my mother going along side with all the posts mentioned above, but a bit more fiercely she go about it. But me as a teen, I suppose to explain my view. I was approached a lot at the beginnings of my time here. I of course never minded friendship, but anything further is and was still a big no no. Its not only because its illegal, but disturbing in my eyes that someone wants to come after me as young as I am. While not all people are like this, some are. I also had and have put my foot down when it becomes over the line. I don't like it, and I won't put up with it. Its just me though, I can see other teens not doing that. I can think of many at the top of my head, and thankfully most of them don't really care about anything but their images at school.
Thank you Hermanita. I would have said the same thing as you at 17 18. and Leo, it's true, we never know what we want at that age. The situation with me, and the dude I was dating at 14 who was overage, I thought I was in love with him, my father told me I wasn't, and it made me even more resentful of him at the time. I thought I was in love and I thought no one cared about me and how I felt. I realized later I was wrong, that they were caring for my well being and safety. The one thing I wish my parents did at that age, was not berate me for months on end about how stupid and naive I'd been. It felt like they didn't loved me less or that they didn't care at the time about how I was feeling about the whole thing. I knew I was wrong, yet I still got myself into the situation, but I am a better and wiser person for it the now.
I decided to tell my story here, sorta as a warning for the young parents and teens alike. First, let me preface it by saying, "Don't ever give your passwords, voicemail or email or anything, to anyone you don't trust with it. I can't say anyone, as my female best friend has my password but I digress.
I started dating a friend's ex who was supposedly 17 and she met him on a trip somewhere. The reality was he was 20 and she met him on the internet. He began taking up all of mly time and energy, my grades dropped, I was literally focusing on him alone. My parents found out about him and told me to end things. I didn't want to, so I continued things for 3 months, even after being grounded and punished by my parents. The final time I was grounded, it was from my phone, but did that stop me? Nope. I gave him the password to my voicemail and we comunicated through my voicemail till I got caught again. Then my parents changed my number and gave me no voicemail box and that was the end of that. It was a really sad period for me after that, but it got better.I am more the wiser now, it took me a lot of time to stop beating myself up over how stupid I'd been and I've been able to forgive myself. I thank my lucky stars that we neever met, I wanted to, but that never happened. Parents, if your child ever ends up in a situation like this, remind them that, even though this is a bad situation, that you love them that's why you do what you do. Teens, just be careful and make sure this doesn't happen to you. Be smart, if someone does want a relationship with you who is overage, be the responsible one. Tell them no. Just be safe and if something does happen, know that it gets better in the long run. Trust me.
But here's my question to many people. So when my father was in the picture, when he had his moments being 13 and having a 17 year old boyfriend was a bit too much. MY momma I know wouldn't mind that much of a gap now. But what crosses the line in age range? Hmm ok more like, what is your limit.
That's a great question. I think 17 should be the limit but I don't know. I was wondering that as well, so I'm glad you brought that up.
17 as a year or 17 as in 17 yeays? Sorry Hermana didn't understand that.
Hahahaha sorry Hermanita was sorta have writing this/half doing something else. Oops. 17 as an age, for a teenager, would probably suffice, but then there's always that weird gray area when you get to be like 16 or something and they turn 18. I guess it all depends on the age. I knew this girl who started dating her bf when she was 15, he was either 17 18, they went to my high school, and have dated continuously till this day, now he's 21 she's 18 or 19 I can't remember, so that's kinda a weird thing. Hmmm, just thinking outloud. Idk.
I honestly feel that isn't a huge deal. I guess that age range just doesn't bother me. Now if she was 15, and he were to be 28 or older. Now there's a problem. But 16 and 22. The ranges between I kind of don't see a problem there.
here in Texas, the age one can sexually consent, is 17. in other words, if a 14 year old girl is having sex with a supposed boyfriend who's 17, that's rape. so, regardless of what the two individuals involved say, the law is the law.
to address the original topic itself, though, leo is absolutely right. if an older person is making advances towards teens, they, the adult, are responsible for how they act towards the teen. even if the teen says they wanna participate in sexual activity, they aren't at the legal age of consent, so it doesn't even matter.
I was going to say, those laws do vary from state to state here in the United States. Last I saw the age of consent for adults 21 years and younger, they could have sex with someone who was 16, but there are few states left like that.
I meant for the state of Pennsylvania, that is the law.
Here is where the age range makes a differents. When an adult fully well knows they are taking advantage of someones mental and experience level to use them. Even when the law is on your side, an adult knows when this situation is taking place. 13 and 17 is fine because most likely the persons are in the same mental range. Now 28 30 and 13, well you know she's not ready to make choices, nor does she know much about things. In some cases teens are made to grow up, so understand much. Some are even taking care of complete families, younger sisters and brothers due to the parent being dead or unable in some way to do it. You know what is usually the case in these situation when the teen is mentally able? They won't be getting used nor taken advantage of by an older person, because they know better. When and if they do get involved they have reasons and you'll never find them on the news or in court, because they are adult mentally. This situation can even take place when the younger person is perfectly legal age. Say 22 23 and 40 42. In that case it is not a legal issue, but sometimes can be in the range of using someone.
Agreed Wayne and Hermanita. Yeah the states do vary age of concents which gets very very confusing.
I disagree with that. 13 and 17 is not an appropriate combination. The 13 year old may still be going through puberty, if they even reached it yet. Plus, they will have another four years of school that they need to concentrate on after the 17 year old becomes an adult. Then technically it's not even legal.
Well speaking from my experience, the guy was just out for sex from me. At the time I knew that was the case, and now I know that. I felt he and I were on the same leve though. Still do in fact, he of course didn't last long because I was making him wait. Either way, I agree with wayne, though on the legal ages that are 42 and 22 together. I cant say much about that.
After the 17 year old turns 18 his girlfriend turns 14. He might also still be maturing still.
In the US 14 is the age in must states, but not all.
This question gets difficult in the teen range, but not difficult when you are talking a 40 year old man talking to any girl under 18 in a sexual manner.
I don't mean instructional in an instructional setting, but as a woman.
Phone sex, meeting her for actual sex, even if it doesn't go more then kissing, touching, and whatever is crossing the line.
You also have a cultural question, because some cultures see girls as women at 12 or 13 and grant them all rights as such.
The Jewish come to mind.
In these cases the girls have been brought up to think in this fashion, and are guided when it comes to whom they connect with due to the education they've received from the culture, religious leaders, and such.
If an adult male can not reason he needs to be managed, and that is what the law does. He is a child.
In my family your a woman at fifteen. I'm not sure if all mexican families still follow this tradition.
Yes. I've even been to the party they give the Mexican girl.
If you have not had a baby, and such things they give a party. During and after that party you are a woman period. You can marry, date, and do as you please.
The girl is treated as a woman and expected to act as one.
I was dating a 16-year-old when I was... Oh. I guess I was 14, then he turned 17. Yeah, when I said 13 and 17 I was thinking of this guy, but I was the wrong age. Haha. Oopsies. I did date a 16-year-old when I was 12, that was my first. Lol. Yeah, I sadly started young.
Yes, though I didn't have a party. My family still expects of me to be a woman, and act as such. I started young too hermanita, but Mine were never taken truly serious until I was over the age of fifteen. My mom expects to meet every man now. I don't mind, I like her opinions anyways. But I do date older guys, just more in my range. I'd not shoot for someone 27 and older for example, too much distance and well. Just no for me.
Erm meant hermana, gods need coffee. But anyways, I just think it depends on age.
Even though culturally you are called a woman at 15, yu cannot legally sign a contract, and cannot legally consent to sexual activity with someone over 18. Anyone over 18 no matter their national origin, if they are in the U.S., know this, and have to respond accordingly.
If that age was 21 in the country I traveled to, I would also have to respect those local laws.
Yeah I guess it really does depend on age and the person. I go for older guys normally as well, sadly most dudes my age are complete dopes and douchebags. Most, not all, but most of them are. Hahaha.
Unless your parenss are ok with it Leo, and not to mention if the person is only two years apart from you. At 17 in texas if I'm not mistaken your allowed to put your name on a lease. Also in pensylvania the age of consent is sixteen. Its different in many parts, and yes at 15 in culture your a woman. But in state I understand yes you are not.
If your parents are okay with it, that just means they won't press charges. But if your parents ever change their mind, even if you are a minor, the older person will be charged with statutory rape. This is not a risk I would advise any person over the age of consent to risk for any reason. Just wait till they're at the age of majority, and hope that the age range won't be too disparaging.
We now have a case in Florida where a 18-year-old Lesbian had a fling with an 14-year-old.
On the surface, this looks like a anti-gay prosecution, when the prosecutors brought this up. That is how it was presented to me, by a Lesbian couple I know. However, consider this: the prosecutor has said he will proceed, because if this was an 18-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl, there would be no sympathy for the elder party here. Much as it nearly pains me to side with the State of Florida, the Land Evolution Forgot, but I must.
Yes I understand from a lawful point. I however don't see that much of a problem of it, but it depends on the party. I agree with the waiting as well, its a wiser choice. But I'm only pointing out options and possibilities. My mom wouldn't be upset with me seing someone four or three years older then myself. But I'm hitting eighteen anyways. Now if he be seven to ten years older she have a problem.
I don't even think your mom would have a problem with someone 10 years older if the man proved he loved you and could take care of you.
This is also a cultural thing.
I agree with Wayne. Wow a 14-yeaer-old and an 18-year-old? Sounds like a typical relationship at my high school, freshies dating seniors. Really? I can't believe that was taken to court. Yeah, if he loves me and respects me, the age shouldn't matter, I mean now that I'm 22 of course.
I cant really say that much can be true Wayne. My mom does take a lot of our traditions to heart, but not when it comes to men. She's very weary on the subject, but I know what she minds and doesn't mind. Ten years at my age now she not like. Maybe in a few years she not say anything. But me being the age I am, she will speak against that. But three to four years, she not throw too much of a big deal. She is the type she must meet the person first, then she calms down and starts to see the picture. Yes sam, the 14 and 18 year old situation was very common in high school. I was dating an 18 year old at the age, and even a bit younger, 13 I believe.
Yup definitely was dating an 18-year-old at 14. I started dating at the age of 12 so I started young lol.
I cant really say I started young, I never truly took dating serious until I was 13 though. Eleven and twelve I just messed and flirted as a six grader.
Um, maybe I'm old fashioned, but though I had "boyfriends" in high school, I don't think dating ever got serious until college. I don't know that eleven year olds can even truly fathom what flirting means, really. The thought of eleven year old girls flirting just absolutely terrifies me. Maybe I'm just overprotective and, as I say, old fashioned.
I wish I had read this board topic when I was younger though. I got so messed up over older guys and totally blamed myself. If only I had had it in my head that he should have been taking responsibility for his actions, rather than blaming me, and making me feel inferiour. I was siexteen and he was, well, not a fucking teenager, I'll tell you that. haha
Hopefully it serves a few before it's too late for them at least.
So how are the Zone's teenagers coming along with this? Bringing this topic back up for education of newer members plus maybe more input from people.
One thing us older types can do to verify age.
Ask where she was during an event. Ask anyone who can remember 9/11 and if they really do remember, they usually have a clear story.
This is an old trick people used in the 80s even. I've not had that one fail on me, though I am not out looking for a date. Just let the subject come up of an event you're aware of, something everyone knows about, and see how they respond. It's a lot harder to fake your answers to that question than it is to just claim yourself to be older and talk grown up and such.
Hope that makes some sense. I suppose the opposite would work on an older person. Ask about something you all would know about, you'll know if it's an older guy trying to fake the teenage talk or if it's someone your age for real.
I remember always knowing the difference when I was a teen, and we used to think older people trying to say rad and wicked and righteous and stuff was really just plain weird. The previous generations always get it wrong.
I think you can be pretty clandestined in how you verify if the guy is really your age or some older dude. I mean, how did an 18-year-old kid get tickets for you to come out there? And plan a hotel room and all? Most 18s can't plan beyond their next begging the old man for twenty bucks, and can't think ahead far enough to remember to bring their phone's charger. So you ought to hold anyone suspect who can really do that. I'm sure my comments ther will probably upset a few exceptions to the rule. But you take my meaning.
Great idea. I hadn't thought of that one.
good piece of advice, leo.
Thanks for posting this... I needed it.
I'm not at legal age yet. I know it's dangerous for me to say that, but oh well. I've been getting some dodgy questions from people, and it's really freaked me out. So, I'll take your advice. Thanks, Leo.
Why is it dangerous to say you are not of legal age? That is actually a good thing. If a guy that is not searching for trouble reads that he'll move on, so it is actually a service, not a danger.
I hope you're right, but it just makes me feel a bit vulnerable. Like people would purposefully exploit you for you being young.
They can't do to you what you are aware of now can they?
Smile.
Leo, thats' a wonderful piece of advice.. I never thought of it but it makes perfect sense...how clever!!
Also, watch the way they write. Watch the slang they use, and how comfortable they are with it. Someone my age communicates very differently than someone Leo's age. the vocabulary is different, as is the word choice. Same thing goes for people pretending to be women, when they're men, usually most people pretending to be something else don't consider the differences in writing, subject and verb placement, word choice, and so on, and so forth.
And, everyone slips up.No one is perfect. Most people always leave clues behind or in sight of their intent. a lot of that appears consciously or subconsciously in the language they use.
I'm just going to say this,
I LOVE THE IGNORE BUTTON!
I've encountered some... interesting people on here. One click, then it's, "ha never wanna see you again!"
Love that. "interesting people"
Smile.
Yeah, my nice way of saying:
"freaks that i'd rather not talk to coz your weird"
lol
So just remember that you have several block options. If you click ignore, that only takes care of quicknotes. You can go to My Account and then Edit Ignore Settings, and then you can select what items get ignored for that person. I believe it's quicknotes, private messages, voicemail and board posts.
All your social networks are going to have different kinds of ignore options, so you need to learn each one. Most sites call it blocking.
If I ignore someone, I check them all.
If I ignore someone, I miss the interesting.
I used to love the ignore button in my younger days, but not now. however, if others feel it's useful to them, more power to them.
Well, it may be, because, as teens, we can't really do anything. All we can do is hit that ignore button. Ignoreing a user, by simpley not reading their quicknotes, works up to a point. Then it gets annoying and all you have to do is hit the button. I get annoyed very very very easily from something that still bugs me from about past three months now. If I can't do anything to ignore the person, I simpley get mad and my friends have to try to calm me. And I say try, because they are never successful. I am not an easy person to get calmed or relaxed or cheered up, if i am very upset.
Best you use the ignore feature then. And, that will change with time. You're still a teenager, the age at which a missing phone charger can create paroxysms of drama.
I'm all for people using site tools. I've certainly hid some whackos from my news feed on Fakebook. Not because I'm threatened, but seeing another political nutball post makes me want to start destroying things.
But for teens especially this is a safety issue, and I'm not sure why this site's culture takes a radically different stance from typical internet safety RE: use of the ignore feature.
I just can't believe my post made somewhat sense. I think I wrote that when I was half awake. See? I think.
All I remember is typing. I vaguely remember exactly what.
Not the first time I did that, though. I answered emails when i was more asleep then awake. Even sent an attatchment, and had a conversation on chat, with one of my friends. Ironically, it all made perfect sense.
My daughter years ago said her friend would sleep text her. I didn't believe it then, and then I read about sleep texting among teenagers from an article in Psychology Today, or a parenting publication.
Just can't stop with the lmfao-ing and texting, not even to take a snooze, hmm?
I just laughed. (should fee proud)
ui use to laugh constantly, (literarly even the small things were funny), not any more.
I can't even sleep snore, so...
Sleep texting? Hmm.
If I snore, (i don't, but if), someone please slap me awake!
Or push me off my bed!
leo, the reason I, personally, don't see the ignore feature as worthwhile, is cause we can't very easily ignore people in real life.
sometimes, we have to tolerate people we otherwise don't particularly want to tolerate, in any given setting, even though we don't like them.
so, I feel the ignore feature gives people a false sense of security, as it isn't representative of real life interactions.
Well, since this is a social media site anyway, it's not all that representative of real life. People have a lot more balls over the internet than when they're speaking to your face. I agree with Chelsea's principle, but nah, if someone is really bothering me, I'll ignore them. No need for it, really. I'm not gaining anything by tolerating lutherk's boob questions. haha
Lol. Ok, i don't think i saw that. o wait, yes, i did.
IGNORE LINK! I LOVE YOU!
I'm a teen. lol Yes, and a dork sometimes. haha
There's ideology and then there's internet safety. Tools like block on Twitter and Facebook, and Ignore on the Zone, are there for a reason.
Consider the people, for instance, who make all their tweets private. That is no more real life, if you will, than using ignore.
Except, they are in fact real life. If a woman is creeped out by someone at a club, she can ask the staff and they'll have him leave her alone, or just plain leave. There are all kinds of safeguards for women in particular in society. All she need do, in most cases, is protest about someone male, and everyone will respond to her rescue. She cannot do this online, of course, not in real time. So blocking is the best policy.
And in the case of teenagers, they only need use the button, and it can be the difference for them between a safe and an unsafe situation.
Consider all the women-only safe spaces both online and in the offline world. So yes, blocking and ignoring is in fact realistic. And parents with teens would be far easier with their teen being on a site where they have tools to exercise their protection. Telling her not to go on there anymore is tantamount to telling a woman don't go in that club anymore, if the creeper bothers you. Except nobody does that: They toss the guy out on his ear, possibly hard enough that he'll bounce.
Yes, in real life you can ignore anyone you want. Leo's right.
So why should it be different online?
The ignore button is the same as asking to be left alone, or a restraining order, or other methods, like shutting the door in someones face.
no, it isn't the same, cause there's no guarantee that people will be left alone, just cause they ask to be.
while it would be nice if people's wishes were always respected, the reality is, they aren't.
more power to the people who choose to use such features, though. if they feel it suits them/makes them feel better, that's their prerogative.
This goes for the more adventurous. But if you are put off by the boob questions, just remember the boob asker is probably a man. And most men don't want to be asked about the size, dimensions, and general floppiness of their man boobs.
LutherK: What is your boob size?
Adventurous Zoner: I've always wondered about yours. Everyone keeps saying LutherK has some big-ass jiggly man boobs! So how big are they?
yes, I am indeed, just sick like that. More important, if enough people did that he might be afraid to ask newcomers that same question.
Haha, I'm actually pretty sure people do try things like that on him. Trust me. Lutherk's been through the mill in terms of ridicule for his boob obsession and lack of manners, but what can you do? So perfect instance to use ignore, for me. In real life, if someone were harassing me like that, hell yeah I'd have them thrown out. And that's not going to stop them from running into me elsewhere, but I mean hell, ignoring lutherk on here isn't going to stop him running into me elsewhere either. But I think I understand at least in part what Chelsea's point is, and I can respect that.
Perhaps the only difference, though not so huge, is that hostility, harassment, and other kind of negative experiences mentioned here, that take place in public areas off the net can be avoided or walked away from. People can easily hop on a bus and get away, or jump in their car and go elsewhere. Whereas on the net, these things often occur while the person is sitting at their desk in the comfort of their own home, and interpret the attack as an invasion of their safety and privacy.
Absolutely guarantee you will leave me alone in real life if I desire this.
If I go in to my home, shut my door, and you break in to harass me, I can have you arrested.
Do it again, and I legally have the right to put you in your grave.
Even if you take less drastic measures, in a public place, a person can see you, but they can't sit next to you are harass you, ask you questions you don't want to answer.
Even the news media has rules they have to follow.
Sure, they take pictures of people doing dumb stuff in public, but they can't harass you.
This as pointed out, takes place in a persons home, or private place, so yes, you are guarantee to be left alone in the real world.
If you don't know this, and allow people to bother you that is your loss.
*searches for the ignore button. Lol
True, and it's not realtime, so you don't have people reacting to someone's behavior in real time, the way you do face to face.
Ideology can be cute on the young, but for those old enough to be responsible for other under age skulls full of mush, Internet safety is very key. It's like when we tell young women they don't need to entertain questions they don't want to: just tell him (or her) no, walk away, etc.
And online the Ignore button is how you walk away. And yes, I don't care what the young ideologues or SJW's say, you should use that, just as you would walk away from someone making you uncomfortable. Hell, use it on me if you want. Whatever you do, stay safe.
And yes, Chelsea, it's not a perfect practice, hence the therm 'safer practices' rather than 'safe practices'.
By your logic I wouldn't lock my door, because anyone with a penknife and a bit of time could pick the lock. And we shouldn't have security systems, because anyone with enough patience and dedication and skills could hack them. Nobody buys that: people just do what they can. And staying safe is of paramount importance for the under-age, because the under-age are by definition incompetent.
and as I said, leo, if people wanna use the ignore button, more power to them.
Wayne, not everyone has the strength you say you do, to do much physical damage to someone who refuses to leave them alone. that's where changing your number comes in handy, though.
I believe it requires about a quarter pound of finger pressure. Not much strength at all.
Honestly, I stated this as a drasic measure, not the one I'd choose.
The only time a person has no choice is if they live in a police state, or like that. We don't.
Bringing this topic back up for benefit of new under age kidlets on here.
I have had many incidents, online and real, when someone has tried to cross the line. I was 13 the first time it happened, with someone I was romantically involved with. The others have, in fact, been on here, or on some gaming sites. I stupidly went along with the skype sex thing about about a year of wheedling, but eventually felt uncomfortable. Say no, people. Speak the hell up for yourselves, because let's face it, if you don't, you're gonna get yourself hurt. I came close, but spoke. I am virgin and proud of it today, at almost 16.